Maen are from Mars and women.... well!

[Big Chris]

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an

American University.

In-class Assignment for Wednesday....
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to
his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first
paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and
then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a
third
paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been
written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be
absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the
paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."


The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:

Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.


STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

----------------------------------------------------------------

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
camomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of
the question.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom
he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..."
But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of
nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the
direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

----------------------------------------------------------

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically brutalising the one woman who had
ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
youth - when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
wistfully.

---------------------------------------------------------

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of
its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through congress had left
Earth a defenceless target for the hostile alien empires who were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage
of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverise the entire planet. With no one to stop
them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.
The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The
President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean
floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion
which vaporised poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans.
The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow
this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

----------------------------------------------------------

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

----------------------------------------------------------

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centred tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
"Oh shall I have camomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FUCKING
TEA??? Oh no I'm such a air headed bimbo who reads too many Mills & Boon
novels."

----------------------------------------------------------

Asshole.

----------------------------------------------------------

Bitch.

----------------------------------------------------------

Wanker.

----------------------------------------------------------

Slut.

----------------------------------------------------------

Get fucked.

----------------------------------------------------------

Eat shit.

----------------------------------------------------------

FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

----------------------------------------------------------

Go drink some tea - whore!!!

[FrYGuY]

That is, quite possibly, the funniest thing I've read in weeks.

[greffov]

Go drink some tea - whore!!!

!!!!

[PuNkPrInCeSs]

Haha That reminds me of something that happened the other day.


I was reading a Magazine they were handind out in the busstop on my way to the west end of the city and A girl sat next to me and started commenting on some things said in the magazine.

Girl: "Did you read page 4 yet?"
Me: "I assume so, i'm on page 6"
Girl: "Wern't you totally offended by it?"
Me: "Uhh.. Apparently Not.."
Girl: "I was, It's Completly Chauvinistic"
Me: "Okay?"
Girl: "They said Man, It should say Person"
Me: " I Hate Feminists"
Girl: " Excuse me?"
Me: " I only work until i meet a nice Man so i can get married and start making babies"

Then she just gave me a digusted kinda look as if i had leprecy and got off on the immediate next stop, which i know was nowhere close to where she was going.


Messing with peoples minds is fun

[tiremonkey2000]

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centred tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
"Oh shall I have camomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FUCKING
TEA??? Oh no I'm such a air headed bimbo who reads too many Mills & Boon
novels."