The night before christmas...

Dr. Avery · 12-24-2004, 01:06 AM

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,
bottles and butts were left by some louse.
And the best fifth I'd hid by the chimney with care
Had been snatched by some bum who had drank it right there.

My pals - guys and gals had been poured into their beds
To wake in the morning with hungover heads.
My mouth, full of cotton, dropped down with a snap
Because I was dying for one wee nightcap.

When through the south window there came such a yell,
I sprang to my feet to see what the hell...
And what to my bloodshot eyes should I see
But eight drunken reindeer caught in a tree.

Way in 'mongst the branches was a man in a sleigh.
I saw it was Santa, quite oiled and gay.
Staggering nearer those eight reindeer came
As he burped and hiccupped and called them by name:

"On Whiskey, on Vodka, we ain't got all night!
You too, Gin and Brandy, now all do it right.
Clammer up to the roof; get the hell off this wall!
Get going you rummies, we've still a long haul!"

So up on the roof went the reindeer and sleigh,
But a tree branch hit Santa before he could sway
And then to my ears, like the roll of a barrel,
Came a hell of a noise that was no Christmas carol.

So I pulled in my head and cocked a sharp ear.
Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear.
He was dressed all in red, with white fur for a trim.
And the way Santa swayed, he was tanked to the brim.

The sack on his back held nothing but booze,
And the breath that he blew nearly put me to snooze.
He was both plump and chubby and tried to stand right.
But he didn't fool me; he was high as a kite.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And missed half the stockings, the plastered old jerk.
And laying his thumb on the end of his nose,
He fluttered his fingers as he quoted prose.

He sprang for his sleigh at so hasty a pace
He tripped on a shingle and slid on his face.
But I heard him burp back as he passed out of sight:
"Merry Christmas, you âssholes, now really get tight."

tiremonkey2000 · 12-24-2004, 06:35 PM

very good doc

vernarial · 12-25-2004, 02:33 PM

LOL nice one. I left this page up all night so everyone who came by could read it.

Ladydarkness · 12-25-2004, 05:34 PM

LOL

12-24-2004, 01:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
Dr. Avery Tech Weasel Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: The Fortress of Awesometude Posts: 1,145	The night before christmas... Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house, bottles and butts were left by some louse. And the best fifth I'd hid by the chimney with care Had been snatched by some bum who had drank it right there. My pals - guys and gals had been poured into their beds To wake in the morning with hungover heads. My mouth, full of cotton, dropped down with a snap Because I was dying for one wee nightcap. When through the south window there came such a yell, I sprang to my feet to see what the hell... And what to my bloodshot eyes should I see But eight drunken reindeer caught in a tree. Way in 'mongst the branches was a man in a sleigh. I saw it was Santa, quite oiled and gay. Staggering nearer those eight reindeer came As he burped and hiccupped and called them by name: "On Whiskey, on Vodka, we ain't got all night! You too, Gin and Brandy, now all do it right. Clammer up to the roof; get the hell off this wall! Get going you rummies, we've still a long haul!" So up on the roof went the reindeer and sleigh, But a tree branch hit Santa before he could sway And then to my ears, like the roll of a barrel, Came a hell of a noise that was no Christmas carol. So I pulled in my head and cocked a sharp ear. Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear. He was dressed all in red, with white fur for a trim. And the way Santa swayed, he was tanked to the brim. The sack on his back held nothing but booze, And the breath that he blew nearly put me to snooze. He was both plump and chubby and tried to stand right. But he didn't fool me; he was high as a kite. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work And missed half the stockings, the plastered old jerk. And laying his thumb on the end of his nose, He fluttered his fingers as he quoted prose. He sprang for his sleigh at so hasty a pace He tripped on a shingle and slid on his face. But I heard him burp back as he passed out of sight: "Merry Christmas, you âssholes, now really get tight." __________________ 01010001 01110101 01100001 01100011 01101011: Fowl Syntax.

12-24-2004, 06:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
tiremonkey2000 Tire Master DJ Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: florida Posts: 131	very good doc __________________ Tiremonkey2000

12-25-2004, 02:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
vernarial Da'itch inya Pants! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Utah, USA Posts: 1,022	LOL nice one. I left this page up all night so everyone who came by could read it. __________________ Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master. ....You'll go down if you don't stand up. Surely you see that. Bertold Brecht We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. YOU DIG?

12-25-2004, 05:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ladydarkness Lady Darkness Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: I dwell inside your dark imagination Posts: 13	LOL __________________ "No matter if it is a broken heart, or a broken sword, things only have the power you give them"

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