7 reasons not to argue with kids

Big Chris · 12-01-2004, 03:32 PM

Subject: 7 reasons not to mess with a child

7 reasons not to mess with a child <

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother,
she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher, She's dead. "

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face.."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples.

**greffov** · 12-01-2004, 04:00 PM

lol!!!

berks · 12-01-2004, 04:45 PM

lol thats funny!

tiremonkey2000 · 12-02-2004, 07:48 PM

Big Chris · 12-03-2004, 11:55 AM

How to Clean your Toilet

1. Open the toilet lid and pour about 1/8 cup of pet shampoo in.

2. Pick up your cat and ruffle its fur while you carefully move
towards the bathroom.

3. In an appropriate moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and
put the lid down. Sit on top of it if deemed necessary.

4. The cat will now automatically initiate the cleaning process and
produce the appropriate amount of foam. Ignore strange sounds coming
from inside the toilet, the cat is enjoying it!

5. Now flush the toilet repeatedly in order to initiate the "power
wash" process and the subsequent rinsing.

6. In case you're sitting on the toilet lid, ask somebody to open
the front door. Make sure there are no persons or fragile objects
between the toilet and the door.

7. Quickly open the toilet lid from a safe distance. Due to its
extremely high speed, the cat will automatically be blow-dried on its
way out.

8. Toilet and cat are now both clean.

Sincerely,
the dog

Lion7718 · 12-03-2004, 11:59 AM

I like it

vernarial · 12-03-2004, 12:02 PM

Hil-frikin-larious, Big Chris! Awesome! haha

**DreamCaster** · 12-03-2004, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Chris

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples.

That was my favorite

12-01-2004, 03:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
Big Chris Floyd Collector Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: NW England Posts: 243	7 reasons not to argue with kids Subject: 7 reasons not to mess with a child 7 reasons not to mess with a child < A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. " A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples. __________________ One by one, the Penguins are slowly stealing my sanity.

12-01-2004, 04:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
greffov Da House Nerd Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: One CPU Lane Posts: 3,512	lol!!! __________________ Linux virusscanner detected a virus: Windows 95 ... delete [Y/n] y ~ ~ :wq

12-01-2004, 04:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
berks PCTT Administrator Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 3,735	lol thats funny! __________________ Vote For Us!!!

12-02-2004, 07:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
tiremonkey2000 Tire Master DJ Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: florida Posts: 131	__________________ Tiremonkey2000

12-03-2004, 11:55 AM	#5 (permalink)
Big Chris Floyd Collector Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: NW England Posts: 243	How to Clean your Toilet 1. Open the toilet lid and pour about 1/8 cup of pet shampoo in. 2. Pick up your cat and ruffle its fur while you carefully move towards the bathroom. 3. In an appropriate moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and put the lid down. Sit on top of it if deemed necessary. 4. The cat will now automatically initiate the cleaning process and produce the appropriate amount of foam. Ignore strange sounds coming from inside the toilet, the cat is enjoying it! 5. Now flush the toilet repeatedly in order to initiate the "power wash" process and the subsequent rinsing. 6. In case you're sitting on the toilet lid, ask somebody to open the front door. Make sure there are no persons or fragile objects between the toilet and the door. 7. Quickly open the toilet lid from a safe distance. Due to its extremely high speed, the cat will automatically be blow-dried on its way out. 8. Toilet and cat are now both clean. Sincerely, the dog __________________ One by one, the Penguins are slowly stealing my sanity.

12-03-2004, 11:59 AM	#6 (permalink)
Lion7718 Staff Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Florida Posts: 2,317	I like it __________________ "Protect me from my friends, I can take care of my enemies" You better not be touching my mannequin

12-03-2004, 12:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
vernarial Da'itch inya Pants! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Utah, USA Posts: 1,022	Hil-frikin-larious, Big Chris! Awesome! haha __________________ Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master. ....You'll go down if you don't stand up. Surely you see that. Bertold Brecht We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. YOU DIG?

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