Howboute some Jokes.

[greffov]

lol

[the hunter]

As a Toronto trucker stops for a red light, a woman visiting from Florida
catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on
the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, I am Heather from
Florida, and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops
for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car,
runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if
they've never spoken, she says brightly, "Hi, I am Heather from Florida, and
you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of
breath, the woman gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door.
The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, I am Heather from
Florida, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back
to the woman from Florida. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he
says "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Canada and I'm driving the SALT
TRUCK!!!!!!"

[Colin-uk]

LMFAO

[the hunter]

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?


A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

[the hunter]

Q: Why girls rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?



A: They don't have balls to scratch.

[Cirga]

salt truck.. ROFL

[Colin-uk]

It's a couples Anniversary and the woman decides to do something nice for her husband so she goes to a tattoo parlour and says "can I have the initials of my husband tattooed onto my ass please? I would like 'b' on one cheek and 'b' on another cheek."

After the tattoo is finished she goes home pulls her trousers down and bends over infront of her husband and her husband says "Who's Bob?!."

**************************

Mummy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection.

"What's that, Mummy?" asks the child.

"It's Nothing, Johnny, NOTHING." says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on.

A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens.

"What's that, Daddy?"

"That, son, is a 24 inch penis."

"But Mummy said that's Nothing."

"Your mother's spoilt, Son."

[Colin-uk]

A girl says to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."
The guy says 'thanks for the warning'
* * * * * * * * *
A Husband Was Asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?"
He replied: "Depends, If I Can find a Phone"
* * * * * * * * * * *
Man to wife on wedding night-"Are you sure I'm the first man you are
sleeping with?
"Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!'
* * * * * * * * * * *
Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?
Because people started licking the wrong side.
* * * * * * * * * *
Doctor to his lady patient:' U look so weak and exhausted! Are u having
ur meals three times day as I advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day!!

[Wobbel]

Two men were sitting next to each other on a plane en route to Europe. One man turned to the other and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The second man, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said said the second man, "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass.
The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"geez," said the first man, "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said the second man, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you obviously don't know shit?"

[the hunter]

Q. What's a mixed feeling?


A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

[janett999]

thats cute


lol

[the hunter]

And true. New signature for janet.

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...
I DID IT RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME

[janett999]

lol

i always do it right the first time!

[crazyhorse]

OK Hunter .... here's my 2 cents post ...

If you have ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this Cop…
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:


Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.


Q: Officer, who provided this description?

A: The officer, who responded to the scene.

Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.


Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do.

Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.


Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.


Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?
A: You see sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been know to walk through that room.
With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's Best Comeback Line and we think he'll win.

[janett999]

LOL