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One Hell Of A Time...
I know I've posted this one before, but it is still one of my favorite jokes..........
One day Ralph dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair,
he has his first meeting with a demon...
Demon: Why so glum?
Ralph: What do you think? I'm in hell!
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here... You a
drinking man?
Ralph: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well you're going to love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we
do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers... We drink till we
throw up and then we drink some more!
Ralph: Gee, that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Ralph: You better believe it!
Demon: All right! You're going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars
from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no
biggie - you're already dead, remember?
Ralph: Wow...that's...awesome!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Ralph: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Demon: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps,
Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well,
you're dead anyhow.
Demon: You into drugs?
Ralph: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big
bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can
do all the drugs you want . You're dead! Who cares?
Ralph: Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!!
Demon: You gay?
Ralph: No...
Demon: "Ooooh,You're going to hate Fridays."
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