[geffers]

poems:

A guy and a girl are having sex when they both say that they are hungry and thirsty. It was freezing in the house so they have an argument over who should go get the food and drink. After a while they decide to have a contest. Whoever can come up with the best poem would be the one to stay in bed.

They both think for a while when the guy says, "Okay, I got one. Two times two is four plus five is nine, I can pee in yours but you can't pee in mine."

So she thinks for a minute and says, "Okay two times two is four plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you'll never know the depth of mine."

backshots:

A Jewish girl comes home and says, "Ma, I got married."
Her mother says, "Oy, that's great."
She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab."
Her mother says, "Oy, that's not so great."
She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab Sheik. He's wealthy beyond your
wildest dreams.
You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of
your lives."
Six months later, she walks in the house and says, "Ma, I love my Arab
Sheik, but my God, all he wants to do is poke me in the rear.
Day and night, all he'll do is bang my butt.. When I got married, my
butt-hole was like a dime... now, it's like a silver dollar."
Her mother says, "So for ninety cents you're going to make trouble?

the madhouse:

A repairman is walking through a mental institution. He comes up to
the first room and sees a man swinging an imaginary baseball bat.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm Babe Ruth. As soon as I hit a homerun I'm out of here," replies
the man.
The repairman wishes him well and continues on his way.
In the next room, there's a guy swinging an imaginary golf club.
"What the hell are YOU doing?" he asks. "I'm Arnold Palmer.
As soon as I make a hole in one I'm out of here!" replies the man.
The repairman shakes his head and comes up to the next room.
There's a guy sitting naked balancing a peanut on the tip of his dick.
"What the hell are you doing!" he asks.
"I'm f*****g nuts, I'm never getting out of here!